50 Famous Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

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Which are your favorite Sebastian Maniscalco quotes?

Sebastian Maniscalco is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. He is one of the richest comedians in the world.

Maniscalco has made his way around the late-night talk show cycle, appearing on ‘The Tonight Show’, ‘The Jay Leno Show’, and ‘The Late Late Show’. He has released five comedy specials. He has also had supporting acting roles in the films ‘Green Book’ and ‘The Irishman’.

Here’s our collection of the best Sebastian Maniscalco quotes:


50 Famous Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

1. “If I can relate to the joke, it’s going to be funny.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

2. “I’ll never stop doing stand-up. There’s nothing better than getting in front of 2,500 people and making an entire room laugh.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

3. “When I was growing up, we dressed up for church.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

4. “I started working full time as a comedian in 2005, shortly after we did the Vince Vaughn ‘Wild West Comedy Show.’ I worked at the Four Seasons hotel from 1998 to 2005, so about seven years, just trying to put some food on the table and pay the rent while I went out to the open mics and got my feet wet with stand-up comedy.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

5. “I’m like, ‘Wow, I guess a lot of people didn’t have this type of upbringing’… that old world technique of, you know, nothing’s given to you, you’ve gotta work for everything you’ve done… It’s just different from what I’m seeing today.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

6. “It took me a good eight to ten years to really formulate what I was doing on stage and start to get really personal with comedy. I always really had timing naturally, it was just about trying to figure out how that timing was going to work on stage.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

7. “Food is kind of the conduit that brings people together.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

8. “I developed a knack for storytelling early on around the kitchen table with my family. I just happen to be a funny guy.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

9. “I remember when I was young, I was watching TV, and my father came into the room, agitated, and told me to start a business. I was eight years old.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


10th of 50 Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

10. “I’ve never seen a weirder group of people than at the post office. It looks like people are crawling out from under rocks to go to the post office.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


11. “You go into Wal-Mart, and you see stuff you typically wouldn’t see anywhere else.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

12. “Growing up, I was a huge fan of Johnny Carson.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

13. “I do reflect on it sometimes, going, Wow, if I knew what I knew now I would be such a better server.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

14. “I go to Vegas now, and I’m in the casino, and I’m gambling, and there’s a guy in a wet bathing suit gambling right next to me.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

15. “I give a facial expression in a moment of silence for audiences to react to what I just said and kind of let that marinate with the audience for a little bit. I enjoy the physical part of the comedy as much as the verbal content. People tend to gravitate to not only what they’re hearing but also what they’re seeing.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

16. “I’d watch Johnny’s monologue and get super excited any time he had a comedian on.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

17. “I grew up in an immigrant household with an Italian father who came to the U.S. when he was 15.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

18. “My mother saw the magazine, and she was like, ‘You made it.’ I’ve been on Showtime and Comedy Central, but none of that matters – all that matter is that she sees me in ‘People!” – Sebastian Maniscalco

19. “I’m a very observational type of comedian that points out everyday absurdities.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


20th of 50 Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

20. “I get annoyed by the stupidest things. It could be someone eating a bag of chips or popping a Coke can on an airplane or listening to music without headphones. FaceTiming in public kills me. I don’t confront people. I just think about how I can’t wait to get on stage and tell a group of strangers about it.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


21. “Every heckler is unique because they say something, and you react to what they say or what they’re wearing or who they’re with, so every response to a heckle is unique.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

22. “Growing up in an Italian family, we used our body to convey a message.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

23. “I don’t like long jokes. I like stories rather than setup punchlines.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

24. “When the pandemic started, it took me about six weeks to get out of my funk. Comedy is very therapeutic for me — it’s almost like a drug — so to suddenly not do it anymore took a toll on me. I was disappointed. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was scared. I’m at peace with it now. But the void is still there.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

25. “The business of being told to earn a dollar, that no one is going to give you anything – that was kind of my mantra throughout my childhood, and now it’s in my adult life. I find that people really tend to relate to the immigrant father, whether he be Italian, Greek, Spanish or whatever.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

26. “The more comfortable I got onstage, the more comfortable I got expressing myself in a physical manner. And it almost shocked people – Oh, is there something happening?” – Sebastian Maniscalco

27. “Everybody seems to be wasting their time online. There is such a narcissistic attitude. It’s such a strange world.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

28. “I’ve been getting a lot of comments and emails that say, “Why don’t you do a standup show on Zoom?” But standup really doesn’t work on Zoom. You need the energy of a crowd to playoff. I’m not going to be a Zoomedian.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

29. “I was always taught how to dress for the occasion.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


30th of 50 Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

30. “One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guy’s wearing flip-flop sandals, which I don’t understand. Men’s feet are disgusting to begin with, but now they’re on display when I try to go out for a nice steak at a restaurant, and I have to sit there and look at some guy’s hoof? I don’t get it. I don’t understand it.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


31. “I just wanted to make a living doing stand-up. I have to pinch myself sometimes. ” – Sebastian Maniscalco

32. “Sometimes it’s cool to have banter with the audience. Occasionally, somebody will say something, and I’ll say something right back, and everybody laughs, and it’s funny.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

33. “I was never the class clown or anything like that. I was a shy kid who liked to observe from the back of the room, but at home around the dinner table, I would tell my family stories about my day, and that’s how I learned I had a knack for humor.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

34. “I had time to cultivate my act and develop a point of view and feel really comfortable on stage. So when my career gained momentum, I was completely prepared to give people a show that they deserved.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

35. “When I was growing up in Arlington Heights, Hollywood seemed like another planet.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

36. “For me, the motivation to write new material is completely fear-based. Because if people hear the same thing the next time I come to a city, they ain’t gonna come back.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

37. “Success was a slow burn. I’ve been doing standup night in and night out since 1998, and it got stronger and stronger as time progressed.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

38. “I used to devour a lot of stand-up comedy in my cousin’s basement. He had cable and I didn’t, so I went there and saw all the comedians.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

39. “I like Las Vegas because it kind of gives me a chance to gauge my material in front of a very diverse group of people. There are a lot of different people in the audience, and you can kind of get a barometer for how your material plays throughout the country.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


40th of 50 Sebastian Maniscalco Quotes

40. “That’s how my family bonded – eating and telling stories.” – Sebastian Maniscalco


41. “Hollywood was a long way from where I grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

42. “We grew up in a middle-class family in Chicago. Even when we went on vacation as a family, it wasn’t a really fun time, because my father didn’t want to spend any money when we got there.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

43. “It was awkward. Growing up, my father told me don’t ever tell anyone your salary. Keep it a secret. I never set out to make a lot of money or be famous.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

44. “I once did a flip-flop joke in San Diego, and I got booed… but it’s all in good fun.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

45. “My idea of fun would be to review the customers. I could give some customers one star so that restaurateurs would know when they walked in not to serve them.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

46. “Although my values and my morals are old-school, you have to kind of key into the landscape of social media and how the world is progressing. I’d be a fool to sit there and go, ‘Yeah, let’s use the telephone to telemarket myself’… Social media is something that I definitely have to tap into, to another demographic.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

47. “I knew I had an ability to make people laugh, but it was a mystery how I was going to build on that talent.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

48. “I don’t like a lot of clutter.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

49. “People come to a show, then they go back to their neighborhood, and it has become like word-of-mouth. Everybody loves to turn somebody on to something. It kind of just snowballed.” – Sebastian Maniscalco

50. “I immersed myself in comedy at a young age. I knew I wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I had no idea how to get into the business.” – Sebastian Maniscalco



Thanks for checking out this collection of quotes from Sebastian Maniscalco! Don’t forget to share them on social media with your friends and family.

Which are your favorite Sebastian Maniscalco quotes? Leave a comment below.

Zisilia Alvsa
Zisilia Alvsa
Zisilia Alvsa is a writer for Wealthy Gorilla. Friends often call her Zii. She is a girl from Jakarta, Indonesia who currently lives in Bali. Zii loves photography and travelling.


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