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60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes to Laugh About

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60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes

Is there such a thing as funny motivational quotes?

Of course! I mean, why can’t we have a little fun and be motivated at the same time?

We don’t often feature funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, I’ll make an exception. Some of the quotes below are pure gold!

Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day:

 

60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes

1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown

2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke

3. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer

4. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” – Unknown

5. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott

6. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

7. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

8. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

9. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” – Unknown

10. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

11. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

 

12th of 60 Funny Motivational Quotes

“Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Unknown

 

13. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain

14. “Always remember that you are unique  –  just like everybody else.” – Unknown

15. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

16. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch

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17. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

18. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

19. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

20. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn

 

21st of 60 Funny Motivational Quotes

“The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

 

22. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

23. “When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”” – Sydney Harris

24. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

25. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

26. “Bad decisions make good stories.” – Ellis Vidler

27. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” – Unknown

28. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” – Unknown

29. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” – Louis Agassiz

30. “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.” – Unknown

31. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

33. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

34. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” – Unknown

 

35th of 60 Funny Motivational Quotes

“When I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” – Barney Stinson

 

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36. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

37. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Unknown

38. “Be happy  –  it drives people crazy.” – Unknown

39. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

40. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones

41. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

42. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley

43. “Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer

44. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

45. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” – Unknown

46. “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” – Mae West

47. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

48. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson

49. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” – Justin Sewell

 

50th of 60 Funny Motivational Quotes

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

 

51. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

52. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

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53. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

54. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

55. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love

56. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh

57. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand

58. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson

59. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe

60. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams

 

Which are your favorite short and funny motivational quotes? Leave a comment below.

Dan Western is the founder of Wealthy Gorilla. Dan is a young ambitious guy who has been researching self-development for the past two years and is now off travelling the world. His mission is to inspire others to live their dreams and be the person to whom they say; "Because of you, I never gave up." Join Wealthy Gorilla on Facebook.