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50 Hilarious & Light-Hearted Jimmy Fallon Quotes

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50 Funny & Hilarious Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Jimmy Fallon is an American comedian, television host, actor, and producer.

He is known for his work in television as a cast member on Saturday Night Live and as the host of The Tonight Show.

Fallon was born in Brooklyn and raised in Saugerties, New York. Growing up, he was extremely interested in music and comedy, and decided to move to Los Angeles at 21 years old to pursue his dreams.

This is a collection of the best Jimmy Fallon Quotes:

 

50 Hilarious Jimmy Fallon Quotes

1. “‘Have fun’ is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it.” – Jimmy Fallon

2. “I do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It.’” – Jimmy Fallon

3. “I like being absurd. Being silly.” – Jimmy Fallon

4. “I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I’m like ‘You know, maybe I shouldn’t be a Priest.’” Jimmy Fallon

5. “I’m going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.” – Jimmy Fallon

6. “On ‘Late Night,’ it’s like we’re all in on the joke. That’s what I wanted it to be. I’m not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don’t like those. We can all ride together, and everyone’s on the same thing going, ‘Aha, I know where you’re going here.’” – Jimmy Fallon

7. “Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I’d have an excuse.” – Jimmy Fallon

8. “Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: ‘We think we’re important enough to charge money for our garbage.’” – Jimmy Fallon

9. “Thank you… motion sensor hand towel machine, you never work, so I just end up looking like I’m waving hello to a wall robot.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

10th of 50 Jimmy Fallon Quotes

10. “There couldn’t have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It’s beyond baseball. It’s rooting for your family.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

11. “Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce ‘gubernatorial.’” – Jimmy Fallon

12. “I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos.” – Jimmy Fallon

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13. “I like doing energetic things.” – Jimmy Fallon

14. “I wanted to be the next Dana Carve. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’” – Jimmy Fallon

15. “I’m on so late I’m definitely the last seconds of anyone’s attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, ‘That’s funny,’ then fall asleep.”

16. “People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn’t the most popular kid. I wasn’t the nerdiest kid. I was kind of in the middle.” – Jimmy Fallon

17. “Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world’s lamest Ghostbuster. I am not afraid of no leaves.” – Jimmy Fallon

18. “Thank you… adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, ‘Hi, I’m over 80 years old.’” – Jimmy Fallon

19. “Thank you… pre-season football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

20th of 50 Jimmy Fallon Quotes

20. “When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who make balloon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

21. “Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.” – Jimmy Fallon

22. “I don’t like to kick people when they’re down. I like to kick people when they’re up.” – Jimmy Fallon

23. “I like to see people who are normally serious laugh.” – Jimmy Fallon

24. “I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets… then I got to ‘Saturday Night Live’ where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I’m going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I’m going to go sit with.” – Jimmy Fallon

25. “My parents were kind of over protective people. I and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn’t let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can’t dribble on grass.” – Jimmy Fallon

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26. “Politics is pop. Our job as comedians – especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience – is to amplify what we think America is thinking.” – Jimmy Fallon

27. “Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.” – Jimmy Fallon

28. “Thank you… Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

29th of 50 Jimmy Fallon Quotes

29. “The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

30. “When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be in people’s homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.” – Jimmy Fallon

31. “Everyone looks so much better when they smile.” – Jimmy Fallon

32. “I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff’s going to be dragged up and, you know, I’ll be like, ‘Wait, what?’” – Jimmy Fallon

33. “I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.” – Jimmy Fallon

34. “I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.” – Jimmy Fallon

35. “My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things – so we had a surrogate.” – Jimmy Fallon

36. “Researchers tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn’t get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, ‘Thank you?’” – Jimmy Fallon

37. “Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.” – Jimmy Fallon

38. “Thank you… fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

39th of 50 Jimmy Fallon Quotes

39. “The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

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40. “You can’t reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at ‘Late Night,’ we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, ‘I see you behind a glass desk.’ I don’t. And he’s like, ‘Yeah, the glass desk.’ I go, ‘I don’t really see me as a glass desk guy.’” – Jimmy Fallon

41. “I didn’t act like I was there. I just got into the story.” – Jimmy Fallon

42. “I just really don’t like being the center of attention that much. It’s kind of ironic.” – Jimmy Fallon

43. “I want to be a dad. That’s floating to the top of my list. I think it’s such an important thing. I’m at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, ‘Is it like a puppy?’ And they go, ‘It’s 10 times a puppy.’” – Jimmy Fallon

44. “I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the – it’s like your best friend for the rest of your life.” – Jimmy Fallon

45. “New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That’s encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I’ve got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.” – Jimmy Fallon

46. “Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.” – Jimmy Fallon

47. “Thank you, people who say ‘Wow, you’re really photogenic,’ for not saying what you really mean: ‘Wow, you’re really ugly in person.’” – Jimmy Fallon

48. “Thank you… fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would’ve happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.” – Jimmy Fallon

49. “The running across the field thing that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.” – Jimmy Fallon

50. “You only think of the best comeback when you leave.” – Jimmy Fallon

 

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Dan Western is the founder of Wealthy Gorilla. Dan is a young ambitious guy who has been researching self-development for the past two years and is now off travelling the world. His mission is to inspire others to live their dreams and be the person to whom they say; "Because of you, I never gave up." Join Wealthy Gorilla on Facebook.

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