50 Amazing Norm MacDonald Quotes

Last Updated:

Which are your favorite Norm MacDonald quotes?

Norm MacDonald is a Canadian stand-up comedian, writer, and actor who is known for his deadpan style. He is popularly known for his appearances on the show ‘Saturday Night Live’.

He released ‘Norm Macdonald Has a Show’ on Netflix in 2018. Throughout his career, he has featured in a number of films and television shows. In addition, He has also worked as a voice actor.

Here’s a collection of the best Norm MacDonald quotes:


50 Amazing Norm MacDonald Quotes

1. “So much in L.A. is waiting. It’s so irritating. That’s what’s good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don’t have to sit and wait by your phone. But it is very frustrating.” – Norm MacDonald

2. “A lot of people think I’m difficult to work with. It’s not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn’t really matter. I guess I’m somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy.” – Norm MacDonald

3. “I sort of try to write everything for me. I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I’m trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they’re accessible to everyone.” – Norm MacDonald

4. “I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.” – Norm MacDonald

5. “I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.” – Norm MacDonald

6. “I like doing a funny show where I don’t have to act and fall in love with a girl.” – Norm MacDonald

7. “I love writing – it’s the best. But I really hate collaboration.” – Norm MacDonald

8. “I just like doing standup, that’s all I’m interested in or good at.” – Norm MacDonald

9. “Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are… You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.” – Norm MacDonald


10th of 50 Norm MacDonald Quotes

10. “I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.” – Norm MacDonald


11. “Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.” – Norm MacDonald

12. “There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I’m like – ‘I can’t laugh that much. That’s so weird to me.” – Norm MacDonald

13. “In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.” – Norm MacDonald

14. “You’re trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent’s the same. It’s not like you’re trying to do evil to them.” – Norm MacDonald

15. “I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it’s very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I’m not a great actor, so if the material isn’t good, I’m in torment while I do it.” – Norm MacDonald

16. “Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ’em. I don’t think they’re right for stand-up.” – Norm MacDonald

17. “With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don’t like big houses, I don’t drive a car, so you know, I just live in a small apartment and I have my computer, which is really cool.” – Norm MacDonald

18. “I don’t really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ’em. I don’t think they’re right for stand-up. I’ve seen people in theaters, and it just doesn’t work, because you’re talking to the guy next to you the whole time.” – Norm MacDonald

19. “I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.” – Norm MacDonald


20th of 50 Norm MacDonald Quotes

20. “Letterman is very intimidating because he’s so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he’s a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him.” – Norm MacDonald


21. “I don’t know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.” – Norm MacDonald

22. “When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.” – Norm MacDonald

23. “My dad had this thing – everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that’s all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!” – Norm MacDonald

24. “In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That’s how you know who the best player is.” – Norm MacDonald

25. “I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, talking about the Olympics, and why I feel obligated to watch them. Why am I watching archery at 4 in the afternoon?” – Norm MacDonald

26. “I’d say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he’s just, he’s talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don’t know what’s going on.” – Norm MacDonald

27. “I watch political shows for a number of weeks in a row, and all I see are guys arguing with each other over issues I have no idea about. My brother, he loves war-torn places. My dad would always read the paper and tell me I should watch CNN, but I usually wind up watching Breaking Bad.” – Norm MacDonald

28. “I don’t like sports where it’s like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it, it looks exactly the same, and then at the end, one guy gets higher points! It seems so arbitrary; I don’t know who’s ahead ever.” – Norm MacDonald

29. “Stand-up has the best writers because it’s the hardest writing by a million miles.” – Norm MacDonald


30th of 50 Norm MacDonald Quotes

30. “I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.” – Norm MacDonald


31. “I just hate plugs. It just doesn’t seem entertaining to me. I’ve never plugged anything in my life on a talk show ever. I understand people use that vehicle. It’s just not very entertaining.” – Norm MacDonald

32. “I started on ‘Saturday Night Live’ the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn’t get a guest – which was often back then since he was just starting out – he would just call me down to be a guest.” – Norm MacDonald

33. “All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.” – Norm MacDonald

34. “I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.” – Norm MacDonald

35. “It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.” – Norm MacDonald

36. “I’ve just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t know they were funny from the television. I don’t know what it does, it just sucks it away.” – Norm MacDonald

37. “I’m no good at anything but comedy, which I think I’m good at. I’m absolutely no good at networking; I’m terrible at acting; I’m terrible at dealing with executives; I’m terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I’m good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don’t really have an ambition for money.” – Norm MacDonald

38. “I don’t have any ego about it, but I find there’s not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you’re dead.” – Norm MacDonald

39. “I’ve been offered political shows before, and I don’t know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions – there’s consequences to them. I often think I’m wrong, so I really don’t like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.” – Norm MacDonald


40th of 50 Norm MacDonald Quotes

40. “I didn’t really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious.” – Norm MacDonald


41. “When I was young, I’d watch guys on ‘The Tonight Show’, Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they’d be is funny. Later, I remember, on ‘Late Night with Letterman’, I remember he’d have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that.” – Norm MacDonald

42. “I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.” – Norm MacDonald

43. “I’m happy doing stand-up, but I’ll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I’ll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology.” – Norm MacDonald

44. “I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That’s what I’ve always loved the most, of anything.” – Norm MacDonald

45. “In theatres, you’re kind of disconnected. Also, it’s way too big for the likes of me. Unless you’re Robin Williams or someone that can fill a stage with movement and energy, it just looks like a small man on a big stage.” – Norm MacDonald

46. “It’s a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you’re good at it, then they go, ‘How would you like to be a horrible actor?’ Then you say, All right, that sounds good. I’ll do that.” – Norm MacDonald

47. “I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.” – Norm MacDonald

48. “I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser.” – Norm MacDonald

49. “I don’t know anything about politics. I wouldn’t put too much into my prediction on politics.” – Norm MacDonald

50. “If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious.” – Norm MacDonald



Thanks for checking out this collection of quotes from Norm MacDonald! Don’t forget to share them on social media with your friends and family.

Which are your favorite Norm MacDonald quotes? Leave a comment below.

Zisilia Alvsa
Zisilia Alvsa
Zisilia Alvsa is a writer for Wealthy Gorilla. Friends often call her Zii. She is a girl from Jakarta, Indonesia who currently lives in Bali. Zii loves photography and travelling.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Xavien Howard Net Worth

What is Xavien Howard's net worth? Introduction  As of ,...

Francoise Bettencourt Meyers Net...

What is Francoise Bettencourt Meyers' net worth? Introduction  As of ...

Jennifer Aniston Net Worth

What is Jennifer Aniston's net worth? As of ,...

Steve Williams Net Worth

What is Steve Williams' net worth?    Introduction  Steve Williams is a...

Michael Chang Net Worth

Michael Chang is a former professional tennis player who earned a significant net worth as the youngest man to ever win a singles major.

Edward Snowden Net Worth

What is Edward Snowden's net worth?  Introduction  Edward Snowden is a...

Latest Net Worth Profiles

John Landis Net Worth

John Landis made millions as a director and actor in Hollywood, eventually becoming one of the wealthiest icons in the film world.

Ralf Schumacher Net Worth

German racing driver Ralf Schumacher has earned millions as a Grand Prix champion in Formula One.

Petra Kvitova Net Worth

Czech professional tennis player Petra Kvitova has earned a substantial net worth as one of the world's greatest players to ever compete on the court.

Peter Jackson Net Worth

Best known for directing Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson is one of the wealthiest and most well-known filmmakers in Hollywood.

Peter Forsberg Net Worth

Former professional hockey player Peter Forsberg earned millions in the NHL as one of the greatest players of all time.

Pete Sampras Net Worth

As a longtime rival of Andre Agassi, Pete Sampras has earned a substantial net worth as one of the world's best former tennis players.

Steve Nash Net Worth

Steve Nash is a former National Basketball Association player, and current coach, who is considered one of the greatest point guards of all time.

Pete Dye Net Worth

Golf course designer Pete Dye was renowned for his architectural skills, and he earned millions by creating some of the best golf courses in the world.

Stefan Edberg Net Worth

Former professional tennis player Stefan Edberg has earned a remarkable fortune as a six-time Grand Slam champion.

Paul Thomas Anderson Net...

American filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson has earned a substantial net worth for directing hits like Boogie Nights and Magnolia.