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50 Hilarious & Light-Hearted Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Which are your favorite Jim Gaffigan quotes?

Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer, and writer. He has several successful comedy specials, such as ‘Mr. Universe’, ‘Obsessed’, ‘Cinco’, and ‘Quality Time’, which have received Grammy nominations.

Gaffigan has featured in many films including ’13 Going on 30′, ‘The Love Guru’, ’17 Again’, ‘Being Frank’, and ‘Drunk Parents’. He is one of the highest-paid comedians on the planet.

Here’s a collection of the best Jim Gaffigan quotes:

 

50 Hilarious & Light-Hearted Jim Gaffigan Quotes

1. “Whenever I’m out of town for at least a week, I feel like I should write a postcard or something, but you can be a genius, you try and write a postcard you come across like a moron anyway: This city’s got big buildings. I like food. Bye.” – Jim Gaffigan

2. “Other people’s children’s birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.” – Jim Gaffigan

3. “For me, it’s always a little sad getting out of bed. Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, ‘You were wonderful last night. I didn’t want it to end. I can’t wait to see you again.” – Jim Gaffigan

4. “For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something’s catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.” – Jim Gaffigan

5. “A lot of people are like, “You’re doing commercials?” And I honestly feel like those Sierra Mist commercials are better than a lot of sitcoms I get offered. It’s hard work, and I’m paid a lot of money, and I do it because I love the soda.” – Jim Gaffigan

6. “I’m kind of like a guy who’s missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I’m also a mama’s boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I’m kinda half guy’s guy.” – Jim Gaffigan

7. “I’m not a foodie; I’m an eatie. I don’t have anything against foodies. I just don’t have the time or the interest to do that much research.” – Jim Gaffigan

8. “I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life.” – Jim Gaffigan

9. “I’ve been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it’s like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

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10. “In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. … Having multiple kids, it’s been a gift in a way. It’s keeping the priorities straighter.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

11. “My wife’s gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, pregnant.” – Jim Gaffigan

12. “In stand up, you get an awareness of how you come across, but in acting there is almost a hyper-awareness on how you might be physically perceived.” – Jim Gaffigan

13. “Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.” – Jim Gaffigan

14. “I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. There’s no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It’s like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross’ type of standup.” – Jim Gaffigan

15. “It’s weird, I love acting and stand-up is a very unique, solitary thing where you are the writer, performer, and director. But acting is incredibly rewarding, working, and interacting with people to create funny moments. I can’t imagine not doing acting or stand-up, I really enjoy both of them that much.” – Jim Gaffigan

16. “I didn’t choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane – it’s just who I am and it’s what kind of works for me.” – Jim Gaffigan

17. “As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn’t matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife’s Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.” – Jim Gaffigan

18. “As I go on in standup, I keep being described as cleaner and cleaner as I do each hour, they’re like, It’s unbelievable how clean, He’s the cleanest person in the world. And then I’ll do shows and people will be like, ‘You’re supposed to be so clean, but you’re talking about cancer.” – Jim Gaffigan

19. “I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There’s nothing planned about this.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

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20. “I’m a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It’s not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

21. “I’m definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer – everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we’re just like, oh no.” – Jim Gaffigan

22. “Without Valentine’s Day, February would be… well, January.” – Jim Gaffigan

23. “I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia.” – Jim Gaffigan

24. “No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending family gatherings is for your children to have the time of their lives with their cousins. Little kids love their cousins. I’m not being cute or exaggerating here. Cousins are like celebrities for little kids. If little kids had a People magazine, cousins would be on the cover. Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family get-together will be. “Are the cousins going to be there? Fun!” – Jim Gaffigan

25. “I like bowling. It’s just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.” – Jim Gaffigan

26. “I kind of consider myself… I mean, I try to have my comedy be accessible, and if people are paying $30 to see me in a theater and they want to have their picture taken with me, it’s not the end of the world. It’s one of those things, where I’m not the only comic who does it. A lot of comics do it. If I’m doing a 4,000-seat venue, it might be a little bit of a different task, but it’s all good.” – Jim Gaffigan

27. “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins, right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?” – Jim Gaffigan

28. “I don’t have any delusions. I’m not a novelist – I’m a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it’s pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there.” – Jim Gaffigan

29. “I’m bald, blind, and pale. I’m like a gigantic recessive gene.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

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30. “I like that in my audiences, there’s a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

31. “Television’s very much a writer’s medium, as it probably should be, but if you’re not the writer, then as the performer, you defer to that. It’s just kind of how it’s constructed. Is there some leeway? Yeah. But I also don’t want to come across as a jerk.” – Jim Gaffigan

32. “If someone picks up one thing you’ve written, you want them to go, Wow, this is pretty good.” – Jim Gaffigan

33. “Babies and toddlers are mostly what I’ve been exposed to at this point. I’m hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?” – Jim Gaffigan

34. “There should be a children’s song: If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.” – Jim Gaffigan

35. “There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It’s like from like the era of court jesters.” – Jim Gaffigan

36. “I don’t think comedians make an active decision to be a certain “persona.” Comedians write the way they’re going to write.” – Jim Gaffigan

37. “Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it’s never enough. I think that’s true. It’s hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It’s something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever.” – Jim Gaffigan

38. “Isn’t it strange — when you’re single, all you see is couples, and when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers.” – Jim Gaffigan

39. “Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it’s usually a sign of laziness.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

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40. “You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They’re always so condescending. ‘Ah, the book was much better than the movie.’ Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

41. “The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.” – Jim Gaffigan

42. “I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I’d always cringe a little bit, like, I can’t get a date, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” – Jim Gaffigan

43. “I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane.” – Jim Gaffigan

44. “I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call “indoorsy”… My wife always brings up, “Camping’s a tradition in my family.” Hey, it was a tradition in everyone’s family ’til we came up with the house.” – Jim Gaffigan

45. “Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.” – Jim Gaffigan

46. “My comedy is romanticized laziness.” – Jim Gaffigan

47. “Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wi-Fi? Asking for a friend.” – Jim Gaffigan

48. “There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am – which is not to say that that’s a bad thing.” – Jim Gaffigan

49. “People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?” – Jim Gaffigan

50. “I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I’m nothing. Because if you’re Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, ‘He’s got a Latin temper!’ If you’re a white guy and you get angry, people are like, That guy’s a jerk.” – Jim Gaffigan

 

Summary

Thanks for checking out this collection of quotes from Jim Gaffigan! Don’t forget to share them on social media with your friends and family.

Which are your favorite Jim Gaffigan quotes? Leave a comment below.

Zisilia Alvsa is a writer for Wealthy Gorilla. Friends often call her Zii. She is a girl from Jakarta, Indonesia who currently lives in Bali. Zii loves photography and travelling.

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Actor Quotes

25 Inspirational Robert De Niro Quotes

The Best Robert De Niro Quotes

Robert De Niro is an American/Italian actor and producer;

At 73 years old, he’s had an incredibly successful career, and starred in a ridiculous number of films. Far too many to list, but here’s a few of the highlights:

  • The Godfather Part II
  • Silver Linings
  • Analyze This
  • The Intern
  • Casino
  • Meet the Fockers
  • Goodfellas
  • Grudge Match

We’ve put together this small, yet inspirational collection of the best Robert De Niro quotes:

 

25 Inspirational Robert De Niro Quotes

1. “You learned the two greatest thing in life, never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.” – Robert De Niro

2. “The talent is in the choices.” – Robert De Niro

3. “One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people’s lives without having to pay the price.” – Robert De Niro

4. “You’ll have time to rest when you’re dead.” – Robert De Niro

5. “I love to find new people. It’s not for the sake of their being new; it’s because if you find someone who perfectly fits a part, that’s such a great thing.” – Robert De Niro

6. “It’s important not to indicate. People don’t try to show their feelings, they try to hide them.” – Robert De Niro

7. “Time goes on. So whatever you’re going to do, do it. Do it now. Don’t wait.” – Robert De Niro

8. “Money makes your life easier. If you’re lucky to have it, you’re lucky.” – Robert De Niro

9. “The hardest thing about being famous is that people are always nice to you.” – Robert De Niro

 

10th of 25 Robert De Niro Quotes

“There’s nothing more ironic or contradictory than life itself.” – Robert De Niro

 

11. “I didn’t have a problem with rejection, because when you go into an audition, you’re rejected already. There are hundreds of other actors. You’re behind the eight ball when you go in there.” – Robert De Niro

12. “In acting, I always try to go back to what would actually be the real situation, the real human behavior in life.” – Robert De Niro

13. “I think it’s important to have had at least a few years of obscurity, where people treat you like everybody else.” – Robert De Niro

14. “I don’t like to watch my own movies – I fall asleep in my own movies.” – Robert De Niro

15. “I don’t get into these long-winded heavy discussions about character – do we do this or that or what. At the end of the day, what you gotta do is just go out there and do it.” – Robert De Niro

16. “With ‘Silver Linings,’ I didn’t feel – I was thinking of certain things, but I just said, ‘Let me go with it.’ You have to know what you’re doing, where you’re going with the scenes, and I put a lot of work into that. But when you’re out there, at the same time you gotta be ready for anything.” – Robert De Niro

 

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17. “Don’t be afraid to do what your instincts tell you.” – Robert De Niro

 

18. “You discovered a talent, developed an ambition and recognized your passion. When you feel that, you can’t fight it — you just go with it.” – Robert De Niro

19. “Life rarely changes you totally but it consistently changes you in details.” – Robert De Niro

20. “I don’t feel pressure. I like if anybody has interest in what I have to say, especially if they’re younger. If they like me, respect me, I’m honoured and I’ll give them my opinion.” – Robert De Niro

21. “I am also not one for regrets. I don’t regret any film I’ve made, because there was a reason for making it at the time. If it hasn’t worked out, then don’t spend time worrying about why and how. Just move on to the next project.” – Robert De Niro

22. “Being able to battle it out. No matter how you do it, you gotta hold your ground at times. Other times you’ve got to compromise. But never a compromise that you can’t live with.” – Robert De Niro

23. “If it’s the right chair, it doesn’t take too long to get comfortable in it.” – Robert De Niro

24. “Rejection might sting, but my feeling is that often, it has very little to do with you.” – Robert De Niro

25. “You’re not responsible for the entire job, but your part in it… You will put your everything into everything you do.” – Robert De Niro

 

Summary

Thanks for checking out this collection of quotes from Robert De Niro!

Which are your favorite Robert De Niro quotes? Leave a comment below.

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Actor Quotes

55 Tom Hardy Quotes About Life, Success & Acting

The Best Tom Hardy Quotes

Tom Hardy is one of my favorite actors of all time. Some of the roles he plays show exactly how hard he works as a performer. Here’s a quick list of some of the popular films he’s starred in:

  • Legend
  • Mad Max: Fury Road
  • The Revenant
  • Warriors

We’ve put together this incredible collection of the best Tom Hardy quotes of all time:

 

55 Admirable Tom Hardy Quotes

1. “A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.” – Tom Hardy

2. “I don’t fight really. I try not to fight, actually. I try not to react. I’m a Buddha floating on a lily pad.” – Tom Hardy

3. “I had no immediate knowledge of the world or Batman at all. I’m quite incubated. I just keep myself to myself and my dog.” – Tom Hardy

4. “I think I had only been working nine months when I got ‘Star Trek,’ and it was huge. It was very overwhelming. So that opened my eyes a bit at an early age, kind of how not be frightened when walking into a responsibility of something like that.” – Tom Hardy

5. “I’d learned how to lie and manipulate from an early age so a combination of that, desperation, having to have my own fridge and my umbilical cord back…I had to go out into the world. Then some angel somewhere said: “Have you considered going to drama school?” And this sounded like the solution to all of my problems.” – Tom Hardy

6. “I’m not interested in walks in the parks. Anything difficult that people think I couldn’t play, I’m straight at it. If they say ‘Tom, don’t put your hand in the fire’, you know I’ll be coming out of casualty an hour later with third-degree burns and bandages up my arms.” – Tom Hardy

7. “It’s funny in that because it is acting, and playing pretend, but I didn’t see myself being synonymous with these tough-guy roles. That’s not really me. I love acting. There was Bane, Warrior, Bronson, and now the Krays. I’m just surprised to be working, mate. Whatever gets me through the door.” – Tom Hardy

 

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Tom Hardy Quotes (3)

8. “Spirituality seems to me to be for those who’ve been through hell.” – Tom Hardy

9. “There’s two types of acting: convincing and not convincing. People describe me as intense. It’s because I care. I am a pain in the ass because I care. Do I know what I’m doing? No. Do I have the best of intentions? Yes. Does that lead to hell? Sometimes.” – Tom Hardy

10. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” – Tom Hardy

11. “And I like people. I like to know what you’re really up to. I’m a bit of a nosey busybody. Why do they do the things they do? Why are they prepared to do the things they do to get what they want? When? Where? Who?” – Tom Hardy

12. “I don’t like it when people say, “Well, you should have expected that when you accepted the jb as an actor. When you go to drama school, no one gives you a class on fame. Just treat people how you wish to be treated. Whether I’m married or not married, people will find out. But it’s also not something I’m going to offer.” – Tom Hardy

13. “I hate publicists and publicity. But I love people.” – Tom Hardy

14. “I think it’s important that you always transform if you can. That’s what I was trained to do. You try and hide yourself as much as you can – that’s the key to longevity.“ – Tom Hardy

 

15th of 55 Tom Hardy Quotes

15. “I’m from a nice, suburban, idle-class family, but my tattoos remind me where I’ve been.” – Tom Hardy

 

16. “I’m very sensitive. Because my mum was my primary emotional caregiver growing up, I found myself being pinned into dresses, darting her dresses, choosing her high heels for the evening or what to wear. I’m very much a mommy’s boy” – Tom Hardy

17. “My father came from an intellectual and studious avenue as opposed to a brawler’s avenue. So I had to go further afield and I brought all kinds of unscrupulous oiks back home – earless, toothless vagabonds – to teach me the arts of the old bagarre.” – Tom Hardy

18. “Thanks for all the wonderful paintings and drawings and writings. I am very honoured to have your support, and love you for the energy and the inspiring work and comments that you bring to the table.” – Tom Hardy

19. “Vanity is normal in performers. Does it bother other people? All the time. But nine times out of ten, that says more about them than you.” – Tom Hardy

20. “As actors, we have the opportunity to work with many directors. Directors only work with themselves and other actors. They never know what it is like to work with another director. So that relationship that one has with a director is entirely always the king.” – Tom Hardy

21. “I find crying difficult. It takes a long time for me to go. And I won’t know what will send me. I’m quite sentimental. If my son tells me he loves me that will make me cry. Mr. Holland’s Opus, unbelievably, broke me. A random anomaly. Bambi would probably do me.” – Tom Hardy

 

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22. “I have a very busy head. I have inside voices that I have learned to contain.” – Tom Hardy

 

23. “I want to dispel that it’s all about celebrity-ism, I’m fucking bored of people looking at whose shoes are interesting and what hat is interesting. Storytelling is very important to people, it comforts them, unite us, cheers us up, we can affect change with these arts. We need to be entertained to connect.” – Tom Hardy

24. “I’m from East Sheen, I went to public school where I learned Latin at the age of nine, and certain expectations were made of me to go to St. Paul’s, Oxbridge maybe, and all that kind of thing. And I failed systematically to meet the mark – who I am and what I should have been are two very different things.” – Tom Hardy

25. “In the end there was nothing else I could do. I had a busy head and I didn’t really want to do things that I found boring. The only thing that kept my attention was to play and have fun and manipulate. I’ve always been a liar, always been able to manipulate. I pretty much get whatever I want.” – Tom Hardy

26. “My job is to show and tell. If I get better at showing and telling then presumably I get hired more.” – Tom Hardy

27. “The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can.” – Tom Hardy

 

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Tom Hardy Quotes (1)

28. “We are survivors. We control the fear. And without the fear, we are all as good as dead.” – Tom Hardy

29. “Fame and stuff like that is all very cool, but at the end of the day, we’re all human beings. Although what I do is incredibly surreal and fun and amazing and I’m really grateful for it, I don’t believe my own press release, do you know what I mean?” – Tom Hardy

30. “I get hired more then I get seen more. I get seen more then maybe celebrity and fame happens but at the end of the day there’s no difference between my five dollar performance and my fifty million dollar performance.”  – Tom Hardy

31. “I identify with having strong, powerful female influences in my life. Do you think that women are fairly represented in screenplays, film, TV, and theatre today? Or do you think there should be better parts for women than just girlfriend and wife or lover? Because I’m bored with that.” – Tom Hardy

32. “I wanted my dad to be proud of me, and I fell into acting because there wasn’t anything else I could do, and in it I found a discipline that I wanted to keep coming back to, that I love and I learn about every day.” – Tom Hardy

33. “I’m going to fail to hit the mark I’ve put up before me because it’s not possible to hit it. I want to be the best at what I do so I’ve got to get over myself already because that’s never going to happen. I ain’t ever going to be God.” – Tom Hardy

 

34th of 55 Tom Hardy Quotes

34. “It doesn’t matter who you are. What matters is your plan.” – Tom Hardy

 

35. “No matter how much you can prepare for [auditions], there’s nothing worse than the anticipation. It’s always the killer of everything. The actuality of doing something is normally a lot easier than the waiting for it.” – Tom Hardy

36. “There’s a long way to go on that, but I do believe that the time is now.” – Tom Hardy

37. “We’re all flawed human beings and we all have a cauldron of psychosis which we have to unravel as we grow older and find the way we fit in to live our lives as best as possible.” – Tom Hardy

38. “I didn’t understand how you could do something which is so much fun and be so miserable doing it.” – Tom Hardy

 

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Tom Hardy Quotes (2)

39. “I guess if I had fifty million dollars I could spend more time at home…” – Tom Hardy

40. “I mean there I was. One moment in Wandsworth Police Station on the way to Wormwood Scrubs, looking at 14 years, to this!” – Tom Hardy

41. “I was ashamed of not having any relevance… not being comfortable in my own skin. Huge ego, very low self-esteem. A lot of anger and rage and fear. It would be, ‘I’m not going to feel frightened so I’ll strangle the biggest guy in the bar and then no one will f**k with me’. I’ll get tattoos and people will know I’m not afraid to hurt myself and they’ll be like warning signs.” – Tom Hardy

42. “I’m here to challenge myself and to see whether I can shape-shift in an environment that’s actually quite daunting, but which I think would be nice to shine a light into. The destination of any interesting drama is that you shine a light into a place that not many people know about.” – Tom Hardy

43. “It is not the violence that sets a man apart, it is the distance he is prepared to go.” – Tom Hardy

44. “Responsibility has a cost, and there’s no such thing as a perfection.” – Tom Hardy

 

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45. “There’s always a certain pride in getting a job done properly.” – Tom Hardy

 

46. “When I was nine, I ran in a school race, and I suddenly realized I was in the lead. I looked at the finish line, and just freaked out, then ran to the side as if I’d hurt myself. It was everything to do with the fear of success.” – Tom Hardy

47. “I don’t feel very manly. I don’t feel rugged and strong and capable in real life, not how I imagine a man ought to be. So I seek it, to mimic it and maybe understand it, or maybe to draw it into my own reality. People who are scary, they terrify me, but I can imitate them. I’m not a fighter. I’m a petite little bourgeois boy from London. I don’t fight, I mimic.” – Tom Hardy

48. “I had a huge imagination. My granddad says I was a bit of a Walter Mitty character.” – Tom Hardy

49. “I play Xbox. I have a little boy to look after. I have dogs. You know, I have things to do. I would love to be able to sit down and watch something like a movie. I watch my own movies because I have to.” – Tom Hardy

50. “I went entirely off the rails and I’m lucky I didn’t have some terrible accident or end up in prison or dead, because that’s where I was going. Now I know my beast and I know how to manage it. It’s like living with a 400 pound orangutan that wants to kill me. It’s much more powerful than me, doesn’t speak the same language and it runs around the darkness of my soul.” – Tom Hardy

51. “I’m never lost in a character, ever. Everything is absolutely articulated and worked out and there’s no room for error. The only thing there is room for is inspiration in the moment because you’ve done your homework up to that point….” – Tom Hardy

52. “It was always in the cards for Michael. It was always in the cards for him. I’m not surprised about him at all, because he was awesome. Me, I don’t know how I got here! I feel like I just came from delivering pizza and I got lucky.” – Tom Hardy

53. “So, somewhere between that acceptance and doing my homework and being competitive and having ambition and loving my job and observing and reflecting my society, that’s where I find the purpose. Because man needs purpose.” – Tom Hardy

54. “There’s no feeling of, ‘I’ve got to be the best in the world.’ I’m going to be the best I can. I tell myself, it’s only storytelling and it’s going to be OK and you love doing this. Pick any one of the reasons to do it and, for the next five minutes, enjoy that.” It’s one thing being on top, but knowing what to do while you’re there is something else. Do you milk it for everything it’s worth or try to be choosy in order to gain some longevity?” – Tom Hardy

55. “Within the creative arts you can create things and destroy things. Passion creates and destroys.” – Tom Hardy

 

Summary

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Actor Quotes

50 Funny & Wonderful Bobby Lee Quotes

Bobby Lee Quotes

Which are your favorite Bobby Lee quotes?

Bobby Lee is an American actor, podcaster, and comedian. He is best known for being a cast member on ‘MADtv’ from 2001 to 2009. Lee has appeared in films including ‘Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle’, ‘The Dictator’, and ‘Pineapple Express’. He also has a weekly podcast on YouTube with 485K subscribers.

Here’s our collection of the funniest Bobby Lee quotes:

 

50 Funny & Wonderful Bobby Lee Quotes

1. “You gotta understand, there are two different kinds of Asians – the kind who are good at school, obey their parents, go to college – that kind of stuff. And then you have my family – me, my brother, all of my cousins – were just wretched people.” – Bobby Lee

2. “I know I can get laughs anywhere, in front of any crowd, if I’m given the chance.” – Bobby Lee

3. “I never took an acting class, had never been on TV before. I learned everything from that show.” – Bobby Lee

4. “For a while last summer I was depressed because nothing was happening. It got to the point where people like me were getting films, so I decided to focus on stand-up. It kind of saved my life. I hate to be that dramatic, but I got a girlfriend and refocused my life on being more real and living a regular life rather than pursuing this other false goal of television and movie stardom.” – Bobby Lee

5. “I’m just trying to be honest, you know? And the podcast also kind of reinvented me, because I just…I would do shows, and I would sell some tickets, but now everything is sold out, and the people that show up to my shows are true fans because they know me from Tiger Belly, and the connection is stronger because I’m trying to be more honest.” – Bobby Lee

6. “People think I am crazy because they see me doing stand-up, but I am generally not. I am very sad. I’m one of those guys that lights candles and listens to Rachmaninoff.” – Bobby Lee

7. “You reach an audience that you didn’t quite know was there. I mean there’s a lot of my audience that doesn’t really watch mainstream television.” – Bobby Lee

8. “I miss being with all those guys. 8 years is a long time. You’re there with a bunch of guys and girls and you’re just doing silly shit. Life is completely different than that now.” – Bobby Lee

9. “I was homicidal. I don’t know why, I was just born that way. As I’ve gotten older, I’m more grounded and kind. I love my cats, my girlfriend, life and my family.” – Bobby Lee

 

10th of 50 Bobby Lee Quotes

10. “I learned what a mark was and that you don’t look at the camera.” – Bobby Lee

 

11. “I was raised in comedy in not the traditional way. ” – Bobby Lee

12. “My friends from MAD are not just friends, they’re family.” – Bobby Lee

13. “Stand-up is the only thing I have complete control over. There’s something to be said for that.” – Bobby Lee

14. “It’s good and bad. I remember doing some Asian magazine that came out, and I was completely naked in it.” – Bobby Lee

15. “I never wanted to be road comic.” – Bobby Lee

16. “Generally, I am just myself, a crazy John Belushi type. But I’m not comparing myself to him. I think I am against stereotypes. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet – they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.” – Bobby Lee

17. “I don’t really fight it because who knows where it’s going to lead. I could die tomorrow. There probably isn’t a legacy for me, and I’m okay with that.” – Bobby Lee

18. “I would do the same act if I was doing a clean show actually.” – Bobby Lee

19. “I think I am against stereotype.” – Bobby Lee

 

20th of 50 Bobby Lee Quotes

20. “I think people just think I am crazy because they see me doing stand-up, but I am generally not.” – Bobby Lee

 

21. “It’s not that comedy has changed in terms of what’s funny. For me, it’s changed in that sometimes I don’t feel my finger is on the pulse.” – Bobby Lee

22. “I guess I am in handsome – in certain parts of the world.” – Bobby Lee

23. “My parents were traditional Korean immigrants, we just didn’t talk about anything.” – Bobby Lee

24. “When I feel down about myself and get kind of depressed, I go ‘Dude, you don’t really have a job and you’re making pretty good money, so just relax.” – Bobby Lee

25. “I went to Tokyo three years ago. It was a job, though. I did an ad campaign for IBM, so they flew me out there to take pictures of me. It was IBM Global. It went to Australia, France, London, all over the world. But I think the ad campaign was a failure, because of me.” – Bobby Lee

26. “I just don’t care as much anymore. But I still get jealous and I’m still competitive which you need to be. I’ll see a kid and go ‘Alright, I’ve got to compete. I’ve got to figure this out.’ If you don’t have that competitive edge, you’re not going to make it.” – Bobby Lee

27. “I like parodying, doing parody, on things that are very specific like that, because you’re taking something obscure and trying to get it into the mainstream, and it’s just great that I have the opportunity to do that.” – Bobby Lee

28. “Bangkok is also safe. If you see anybody wearing camouflage holding a machete, don’t be scared. They sell coconuts.” – Bobby Lee

29. “I have many favorite vacation destinations, but my favorite destination is Maui.” – Bobby Lee

 

30th of 50 Bobby Lee Quotes

30. “Two things, generally, for me, is what life is about. And they’re not funny. Living in the moment is one. And No. 2 is getting out of yourself and helping other people. Because all of my sufferings stems from thinking from myself.” – Bobby Lee

 

31. “As I get older, I don’t think the world is becoming that funny. Comedy is changing a bit.” – Bobby Lee

32. “I remember me and another comic used to carry Richard Pryor when he was in his wheelchair on stage. And he’d have boogers under his nose and we’d have to wipe the boogers because he was sick. So all those memories. I’ve been around the legends.” – Bobby Lee

33. “Generally, Asian guys are more quiet – they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.” – Bobby Lee

34. “I’m in this business, man, and I honestly don’t know anything about show business at all. I don’t know how it works.” – Bobby Lee

35. “When I found stand-up, it was like finding home.” – Bobby Lee

36. “When George Carlin used to come into The Comedy Store, I was a doorman. He used to kind of put his hand on me and go ‘How are ya, Mr. Lee?’ He used to call me Mr. Lee. And he would just do his set.” – Bobby Lee

37. “I’m one of those people that will walk into a bar, and if I wasn’t a comic – because some people know who I am – I would just blend in.” – Bobby Lee

38. “I’m getting really old. In the beginning of my career, I used to like to mimic people. And that’s how I thought you were supposed to do it. You’d see a guy and go ‘Oh, I want to kind of do that,’ and then it would just come out in a kind of manic and weird way. But as years go by, you just get closer to yourself. So I think I’m just more myself onstage.” – Bobby Lee

39. “The people that I learned comedy from are all fucked up you know? I was just raised to do it the way I do it, and I can’t help it. And I don’t even think that my shit is dirty, but I guess it is.” – Bobby Lee

 

40th of 50 Bobby Lee Quotes

40. “Life is random. You can’t plan it.” – Bobby Lee

 

41. “I am very sad. I’m one of those guys that lights candles and listens to Rachmaninoff.” – Bobby Lee

42. “I don’t really view myself as being that nasty, but people think [the act] is I guess.” – Bobby Lee

43. “I like Columbus, Ohio, because it’s Pleasantville for real. They have the nicest white people I have ever met, and I mean that!” – Bobby Lee

44. “My point being though is it’s getting better though because fifteen years ago, you wouldn’t see Asian on the television or movies. So it is getting better, but I think there could be more.” – Bobby Lee

45. “I grew up at The Comedy Store, so my role models were always like, [Sam] Kinison, I used to do things with Andrew Dice Clay, Pauly [Shore] was my landlord, I lived in his house for years.” – Bobby Lee

46. “because I’m not really a sketch guy. There are times where I just lay in bed and I think about those years and I miss it.” – Bobby Lee

47. “I love Dallas, Austin, and Houston. Why? Because some of the best comedians, like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison, started their careers in Texas, and because the crowds there are comedy-educated.” – Bobby Lee

48. “Kinison really effected me in a certain way.” – Bobby Lee

49. “I’m hoping that, over the years, people will come back to ‘MADtv’ and think it isn’t that bad. We had some really talented people on there.” – Bobby Lee

50. “If I was, like, in Mongolia, living on a mountain and in my village, I could be the hottest guy. In L.A., I’m… average?” – Bobby Lee

 

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