What is that one quality, that intangible quality, which makes some people more successful than others?
Could it be intelligence? Do some people just have a higher IQ than others?
Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story.
In early studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ 70% of the time.
Recently, researchers have been able to detect something called Emotional Intelligence (EI), which is a much more accurate predictor of success.
10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals
Although emotional intelligence is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high emotional intelligence.
Here are the 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals. Check them out, and see how many of these important qualities you possess:
1. You Are NOT A Perfectionist
If you are emotionally intelligent, then you know that perfection does not exist.
You reject the frustration and the sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. You are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on the shortcomings of others, as well as your own, and unable to enjoy your achievements.
2. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses
If you have high emotional intelligence, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use these strengths in such a way to compensate for your weaknesses.
In work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.
3. You Are Self-Motivated
Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source.
You do not require an extrinsic reward to accomplish your goals because the motivation comes from inside of you. You are clear about your goals and do not need reminders. You’re able to set tasks for yourself and work towards them on your own.
4. You Care About Others
People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy.
That means you are curious and genuinely interested in other people and what makes them tick. You have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.
You like to ask questions to learn more about people and what they need. You are an active listener, which means you are disciplined in your focus and you are able to summarize their statements and questions to show that you understand.
5. You Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes
If you have high emotional intelligence, you realize that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past.
You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid getting bogged down in negative memories and experiences.
You recognize that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.
6. You’re Not Easily Distracted
You are able to be fully present in whatever task you’re doing.
You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognize the difference between multi-tasking and multi-focusing.
You will not change your goals until they are accomplished or you need to alter them. You are not derailed in your goals by things like text messages or tangential thoughts.
7. You Have Good Work-Life Balance
No matter how busy you are at work or at school, you recognize the importance of making time for a social life.
You have good time management skills and a realistic idea of how long it will take you to accomplish things.
You understand that you must work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work obligations in order to recharge.
You may decide to turn off your phone for the weekend so that you can return to work fully rejuvenated.
8. You Know When to Say ‘No’
You have a lot of self-discipline.
Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you know your limits and recognize that you can’t do everything.
You don’t give in the impulse to agree quickly to a commitment, or to give a vague response such as “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it,” when you really just need to say “no.”
Trying to do everything can lead to stress and burnout. You set clear priorities and are aware that by refusing some commitments, you will be better able to focus on those that you already have.
9. You Don’t Fear Change
You know that the fear of change will hold you back and prevent you from achieving your goals.
Change is necessary for growth, stimulation, and success. You are always prepared and on the lookout for the next change that comes along, and you are flexible enough to adapt when necessary.
When life remains stagnant for too long, you know that you will become bored. This will actually prevent the dynamic force needed to foster emotional intelligence. You have a positive attitude towards change, and recognize that it leads to better things.
10. You Know How to Manage Your Emotions
You are able to name your emotions and figure out why something is upsetting you so that you can take positive action to resolve it.
You know that anger needs to be properly channeled, and directed towards situations and events rather than people.
You’re able to let go of negative emotions and all the potential health problems that go along with them, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.
When it’s necessary to confront a toxic person, you are able to approach the situation in a rational manner, keeping your own emotions in check. You are confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things.
If someone teases you about something, you are able to brush it off and even laugh along with them.
How did you do? If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations!
You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you didn’t do so well, think about some of the things that you could work on.
Simple things such as journaling about your strengths and weaknesses, or letting go off an old grudge could make a big difference. You can easily work on cultivating any of the above traits in order to raise your Emotional Intelligence and foster a spirit of success.